In my blood

by Suffocate for fuck sake

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released October 28, 2016



all rights reserved
Track Name: Stina
The early harmed children, due to their parent’s psychological abnormity, recruits the cadres of antisocial in the next generation, and their children are exposed to the same risks in different forms. Everyone who have worked in the municipality’s councils know about these especially social arisen dynasties, where generation after generation many people from the same family shows up as child care issues, support cases, cases of alcoholism, antisocialism, criminality, and all other sorts of misery. It should be considered that the possibility through sterilisation to disrupt these chains where these things can happen is in society’s and the individual’s interest.

This applies to all forms of notorious mentally abnormal states. Though it is probably more applicable for the families where a mild form of mental deficiency comes together with the antisocial. Families which the organs of society so obscurely call gypsys.

Obey me and i will be your servant
Free me and i will be your godsend
Enslave me and i will confront them as enemies
Command me and i will make you mad

The farmers which have been dependent on the mills, they’re more… kind so to speak, and available.
Mhm. But aren’t they also more independent?
Yes, more independent. It doesn’t leave the family for several generations.
It’s a special mentality.
That slave emphasis.
It’s in the blood

Its in My blood
Im in your blood
Give me life and i will give you death

A girl, with let’s say an IQ of 58, good at housework but clearly substandard. Maybe she could be discharged from an institution and become a maid in a nice family. However, she is not foreign to the interest for boys which are connected to her sex and age. And the nice family cannot have her under constant supervision. Maybe you should speak with her and say: “My dear Stina, your education here at school is finished, but before you leave us there’s one thing we would like to suggest. We think that you may not have the easiest time to take care of children of your own. We suggest that you undergo a small operation.” If she refuses, the one’s responsible for her must wait with the discharge, and try to persuade her. I think it’s most reasonable that it has to work like that in practice.
Track Name: I am your god
Lean on me through your vulgar thoughts
Fill your lungs breath out our soil
Refused aligned irresistency
I am god, worship me

What is cursed, and yet is welcomed?
Whats desired, yet chased away?
Whats With care Will stay defended?
Whats abused, condemned i say?
What dear you not appeal to
What Will all happily hear named
What stands upon here right before you
Whats banished from. Here all the same

Iam god Worship me

Well, there have been a lot of mending of that kind with the “people material”, what will it lead to?
Sure it has, but medically speaking we’re mending the offspring to keep as many people alive as possible, and it’s not always the prime.
No, it’s not.
And with all these old ladies and social litterers coming in, you do more with the weak and unfit than with the strong ones. They get to carry the taxes and rarely get any help.
That’s right, and that has been the consistent standpoint of all the doctors I’ve met in Sweden, that if this spirit shall continue there is a very large risk that a strong degeneration will happen in the country. Bad “people material”.
Of course we will get that. The weak procreates the most…
But there we also have a question, and that is the activity. In time, Sweden will become a weak old man.

Line up behind
Iam your shepperd
Line up behind
I am your god
Track Name: Sentence
The sentence
This vessel Im within
I Will never yield

Declare me
The state of what i be
The freedom that i leave
The sentence
This vessel Im within
I Will never yield

The needle you stitched through me
Bled Its way out
The pens you bereft me with
Still haunts me now

Down in the dune, slowly it starts to sink in. Slowly downwards.
It washes over our legs. The clothes. The grip.
We’re stuck. The force. We try, bravely.
Everything is pointless, everything is in vain. Staring down into the dark ground.
Slowly it sinks in.
Slowly we sink into the dune.
Track Name: Through the gate
Welcome Bo.
Thank you. I'm coming in.
Track Name: 33 years ago
It was 33 years ago, it’s not that easy to say in detail what I thought or how I thought. It was written 33 years ago Bo.
Your colleagues, the people you knew, did they reason in the same way?
Yeah well, there were never, I mean they’ve been aware when they sent in all their writing with every application and procedure. There were never any critique against… well I think everybody thought it was rather obvious. Everybody thought it was all certainties. Yeah…. You’re holding that thing (mic), when I’ve stopped as if you thought there would be more, but there’s not.

You’re a bit too fixed for a normal mechanism, this is difficult to express, but you reason as if today’s way of thinking was the only obvious one. It’s somehow too easy to take for granted that today’s ways of thinking are the only ones. Can you understand what I mean? No, you couldn’t.

I’m sure it was a routine, routine cases for them. And I can’t imagine a medical officer of health who goes home and cries over making the decision to sterilise someone. Or sterilisation terms. No, your way of thinking is a bit foreign to me I’m afraid.

Is it that they see… those who sit…
They don’t see the patient. They make the decision on paper. They make it on paper.
Track Name: Regrets
Unravel their deeds so that we may ingest the sun
We shall not fear this darkness our moon will guide us from
Their soul feeds our alchemy of our philosophers stone
Redeem our kingdom redeem may they crumble their throne
Redeem us

Deny me
for My deeds
Let us sleep this out

That’s how simple it was. If the person it concerned didn’t agree to it, you slowed down and didn’t discharge them. I’m sure it was common, but not as common in the regular special schools, regional institutions and the government’s special hospitals. It worked like that, yes. But at that time you didn’t have spirals.

But you thought…. At that time, you thought that it could be right to wait to discharge them.

Yes, I guess I must have thought that, but I have never had that in my life. It doesn’t belong to what I… I did say last time that I regretted the article. It’s not right. I don’t regret it, but I wouldn’t write it like that today. It fits better to say it like that. I can’t say that I regret that I wrote it. Not a bit.
Track Name: The Light
Have you gotten the papers now? It must say that I’m retarded.
It says horrible things.
It does? Maybe I’ll get angry?
Yes I can imagine you could be.
The doctor and one a headmistress applied to get you sterilised. This is your dad’s insert…

When the light shines on us all the flaws start to show
Won’t you make me a promise to keep your eyes closed
Track Name: Carnage
Reject the dream to wake upon beyond the rise and prosper
Despite the end of lights this filth has shown as seldom hostile

Behold my eyes will soar unseen the childs whos needs will follow
Unfold my rights applied by them who hold my judge this knife my halo

Deceptive consistency braced by us
Demons that lurks here within
The state we established will prosper them
Face them by sealing this lid
Deceptive consistency braced by those
Demons that lurks here within
The state i established will prosper us
Face me by sealing this lid

Never seen

Behold my eyes
Will soar unseen
Behold my eyes
That lurks within
Unfold my rights
A faceless dream
Unfold my rights
I've never seen

They called it slaughter, the slaughtering I think… I don’t remember…
It’s something you don’t talk about; I never talk about it with anyone.
It was a very scary operation, I remember. Very scary. I remember that it was, that I was in the hospital, I think I was there over a week, at that time. Or if it was 14 days or something…

Did you ever get to read anything, they wrote many medical records and stuff?
Never, I’ve never read anything, I’ve never read any records. Never. Never ever.
What you’re reading now is what the headmistress said right?
Yes, she describes shortly a sickness or disturbance. Late development, doesn’t speak clearly when she starts school… can’t possibly get along with her class mates. Is a chronic care case. I must laugh, it must be a sick person writing this.
She has an antisocial (…) … oh god. Whimsical. Foolish… chronic care case. I was surely a chronic care case. Will carry on her mental deficiency to her offspring… a doctor has signed… it’s not over.
Track Name: Are you happy with your life?
The light of life shines upon me. The sun. I live in every detail of it. Throws a glance. Across the sky, across the horizon. Not over my shoulder. The wind through my hair. The rain on my forehead. On the ground. On the grass. Birds, cars, crickets. Just a normal day. But I have longed for it. I’m alive. It’s in my blood.

It's in my blood.

But I have succeeded. I think I’ve had it nice.

Are you happy with your life?
Well, I don’t know about happy. Had my husband been alive I would’ve been happier. But it’s been two and half years since he passed.

Wasn’t it terribly difficult to tell your husband when you married?

Yes, horrible, it was awful. But he understood. That is what made it go so well. But you heard when I told you about when I sat there and he noticed there was something I had to say. He looked tense and I had to tell him eventually. When would I tell him. When is it best to tell him? But I couldn’t get it out. So eventually he grabbed me and I got to say it and it was nice to hug him and tell him. I thought it was a nice moment, when I told him. He was very kind… but now I think he had to suffer an awful lot for my sake.

You said you'd always be here