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All Our Memories

from Fyra by Suffocate for fuck sake

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lyrics

Forever yours
A lost soul
Surrendered into the void
With your hand in mine
We dive
And divide
As life slips between our fingers
Whatever it takes
I‘ve made my choice
Wherever your love takes me
I‘ll follow

It turned out that I had been sitting there at the table, then all of a sudden, I just collapsed on the floor and I was pretty much shaking and started to chew froth. So, one of my friends sat down on me. Pushed me down to the ground since I was shaking uncontrollably, and did CPR on me. He got me half conscious, he slapped me over my face, then I passed out again so he continued while the other guy were called 911 and said it was an overdose.

When they heard that I… they got some type of contact with me but when they heard the ambulance coming they started to leave since they had alot of drugs and they didn‘t know if the police would show up too. So, they took the stuff and ran around and stood on my balcony and banged on the window so I would wake up. So, he saved my life.

Paint the portrait of what‘s to come

The sad thing is that he died in an overdose four years later.
So, he is not alive anymore.

So, 13 friends around me have passed away over the years through different addictions. It would never scare me away. That fact that I have taken an overdosed has never scared me away either. My family, my friends, my children, none of them have been able to change me. The only one who could do it, it was she, and her limitless love for me, and my love for her that made me just give in wholeheartedly and say “I do not want to lose you, I will do anything”.

When I look back on it now so… I do not think of about it as I have been sitting and talking about now. I do not think about that much. I think of all our good moments, all the love that was there, all our memories and I feel happy when I think about it.

I couldn‘t be there for you
I would have nothing without you

I am not afraid of emotions anymore, I used to always escape my emotions in one way or the another. I don‘t have to do that anymore, I feel like I can embrace it. I can let the feelings through even if it‘s loneliness, sadness or whatever it is, I know it‘s just a feeling and I know what to do when that feeling comes. I do not have to escape anymore, I just have to acknolwedge that feeling and then feel how it goes away.

credits

from Fyra, track released January 15, 2021

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