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From the Window

from Fyra by Suffocate for fuck sake

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lyrics

I had my own apartment then. My first apartment and me and two friends had picked up 10 grams in the city. We went back home to me. Then all of a sudden, I just wake up on the floor, it may have been four o‘clock at night and I can hear someone knocking somewhere. What the hell is happening? I lived on the ground floor and my two friends stood on the balcony and banged on the window and they were very distressed. So when I got up to let them in I hear the doorbell ringing. I thought something must have happened so I started to hide the fact that we‘ve had a fucking junkie party here. So I take the beers and I go and look through the keyhole on the door. Then I see that there are 4 ambulance men outside there so I think “what the hell is this?”. So I gather courage and open ...

“Hi”
“Hi, are you Mikael Hägglund?”
I answered “Yes”
“How are you?”
“I‘m doing fine”
“Ok, we‘ve got a call saying you‘re not”

Down we fall

I‘m drifting out, away from life
Venom, flows in my veins
Eyes, clouded in blackness
As the past twists and fade
Into grey

Four steps from the edge
I return from death
And hide in plain sight
When they knock on the door
I believe that as a child you are born with an enormous love for your parents, and it takes a very long time before it goes away. But I think that at the age of 12-13 I started to feel… that I almost did not belong.
My family did not become my safe space.

An absent father
A loving mother
The charade I maintain
The secrets I keep

In a bottomless chasm
I left myself alone

Det duger bra
För en stund
Kan jag sjunka ner i dyn
Jag somnar in
Och för en stund
Har jag glömt mig själv

“You look abit worried, is everything alright?”
“I‘ve just had some beer, it‘s all good”
“Is it okay for us to check your blood pressure?”
“Absolutely” So I held out my hand and put on one on those things that you check your blood pressure with.
“You have quite high blood pressure, you should rest and don’t drink anymore for now. Try get some sleep, Call if you need anything”.
“Absolutely, I promise. Thanks for coming”.
I closed the door and started to wondered what the hell happened?

credits

from Fyra, track released January 15, 2021

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